My family and I have recently gone through a disrupted adoption. It was the worst experience of our lives and has torn our family apart. He was diagnosed as a 15yr old sociopath. His severe mental problems were never disclosed to us. He set fire to our home, our car (with our children in it), bit our dog til it bled. He was thrown out of school and his problems were too severe for the alternative high school. He simply didn't want adoption. He had a drug addiction was disclosed on the day he was placed and sold drugs out of our home. Please think twice before adopting a child out of foster care!

Three years ago my husband and I adopted a sibling group of 5 from foster care. Thy lived with us for 8 months before we decided to adopt and their ages are 12 through 4 years. They are doing wonderfully except our 11 year old boy. He has been a constant problem. He is violent, dishonest and manipulative. He is on his third school because of stealing teachers cell phones, personal belongings, etc. We have been to counseling both individually and as a family. The counselor actually told us that he would do much better in a home where he was the only child and to call DCFS. We did so and were basically told that he is our problem now. Our family is miserable and his brothers and sisters constantly ask if he can "go somewhere else". It is very sad for everyone. I am afraid that because of the stress that he causes, he will tear our family apart. I am frustrated that DCFS pushed us to adopt so quickly. We did stall for 2 months, but they really began pushing after we had them for 6 months which is our states minimum time limit for children to be with a foster family before they can adopt. If anyone has any assistance or advice they can give us, please help.

We are the parents of a 15 year old son that we adopted at the age of 8. Prior to the adoption we saw behaviors that were violent and severe tantrums...caseworkers told us that he was just testing us to make sure that we would still be there after we signed the papers. WRONG!!! We were trying to love a child that didn't know how to accept our love or want to be a part of our family. After years of therapy for all of us, we are now wanting and needing to disrupt this adoption. This is a child that can't bond to us and we are exhausted mentally and physically by the way he has to be parented.
Our state was not forthcoming with his past either, after fighting to get him treatment at an attachment center in another state. We discovered that we were his 9th home instead of the 3rd home that we were told. No wonder he can't bond...he just adapts. Foster care parents beware and ask about reactive attachment disorder. This is a serious problem for the whole family.