My 8 year old son has always demonstrated a defiant personality. The most difficult time we have is that when we ground him for saying mean and often hateful things, he only gets worse. When and where do you stop is sometimes the problem. Generally, if he continues I walk away. When he continues for days and days it is wearing. A couple of times, after many days of his defiance, I have broken down and yelled at him and then I feel so childish... it is difficult. Then I have to apologize and say that was not OK and try to talk to him about it. It is difficult to talk to a child who doesn't want to accept any responsibility. It is always everyone else's fault. I would love to hear other parents techniques that work.