I just wanted to post a quick note to let you and your husband know that your family is not alone in your situation. Just in the last 7 months, my three year old son has been "kicked out" of 4 daycares. All child care providers have stated the same reason - his over active behavior. He does not do the things at home with me that they claim.
He is having a difficult time adjusting to me going to work and having to leave him; however, I have no choice. I must work. What I have found is that the child care providers either try to take care of too many children at one time or do not want to care for them properly and give them attention. Just an example: because of the lack of attention provided to my son and while in daycare, he went from completely potty trained to completely back in diapers.
I began taking my son to a woman last week. He is the only child she watches. She provides constant one on one attention to him. She plays games with him, reads to him, and has a schedule for each activity including mealtimes and naptime. Within the span of a week he is completely potty trained again and not whining or crying at all. I have back my happy little boy.
If the transition is too difficult for your child and you MUST leave him, try a child care center with fewer children. He will still get socialization; but, less chaos.