Different than most of the other posters... I am the husband of 9 years with 3 young children. I'm at a crossroad with my wife on what to do between us. She keeps telling me she is unhappy, and frankly I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm at a point where I'm indifferent whether she stays or goes. My concern rests with my kids. They deserve the best in an imperfect situation. So my decision is based upon them, assuming situation that I'm going thru doesn't change. We've been thru hell and back from immediate family issues, in which my wife made it more difficult for me to deal with my mother's mental illness than supportive. I quite frankly have never forgiven her of that as my entire family got dragged into our relationship, in a time that the attention should've have been directed at my mother's well being. In my opinion, typical my wife, which will enlighten you on my feelings towards my wife. This episode has changed my family dynamics between me and my siblings and parents. My wife doesn't seem to care what it did. Needless to say, I don't look favorably on my wife about this or many other issues. My problem is my perception of her may never change no matter how long, which affects how I interact with her. I've remained faithful, no matter how rough the waters have been, been a good provider to my family and extended family on both sides as well as a good father...obviously she doesn't think a good husband. We've done the conseling thing, but just don't think the love is there, let alone the mutual respect or trust. We've had good times and bad, but the good times seem to be more of a rarity than expectation when we try to do any event. I'm willing to stay together for the kids, with the hopes things work themselves out between us over time, but with arguements persisting over her unhappiness makes me wonder if the kids would be better off if we divorce. I'm just plain tired of doing this and fighting the same battles. My view is your entitled to be happy, don't make the rest of us miserable because you're not happy. The same traits I hate in people, I see in her. I don't need to spell those traits out, but they are unflattering, but I deem as true to her character now. Again, I hope time heals these views as well, so I can remember why we got married in the first place. I think we are good parents individually and together, but maybe better separated. Sorry this is long winded. I may be venting here as well, but this has been the overall feeling for quite a long time. Looking for advice on what to do.

I recently decided to obtain a divorce from my abusive husband. After 10 years of mental, emotional and physical abuse, I have come to the realization that it's time. Or else its him or me. The truth does hurt. Reading these posts, amazing. My sister sent me http://www.divorce4her.com/testimonies.html link. She actually just finalized her divorce through this company. I was very skeptical at first but when she finished hers and now you guys talking about them calms my thoughts of scam, lol. You just never know anymore. Well thanks again for your info and validation that I'm going the right route.

Yes it is! Important is an understatement. See it's something, when the person you vowed to honor and obey, till death do you part is now your biggest enemy or very close to it. I love my husband, terribly. I don't want this divorce but he does. I sat back last night and thought about it. Why stay and give your all to someone that blatantly said "I want a divorce" Those are not words to think of lightly. I have promised myself to come online and get this procedure started. I found this post and printing, notarizing, signing and filing sounds like the way for me. I don't need all the lawyer stuff and dragging our names through court etc. I found a site (divorce4her) and I believe they are one of the do it yourself services. I'll be calling them today. Thanks again for your post Lesley. It's been eye opening.