please help me my 3 yr old daughter will not eat anything she will only drink milk when she does eat she says her tummy hurts then refuses to eat anything else she as always been a poor eater but she would eat fruit and veg now she refuses to eat anything i am at my witts end if i refuse to give her milk she will not ave anything which i ave tried i think she as got a fear of eating foods as she as been like this since i started to weane her

I am 42, a mother of three children, and have been married to a supportive, loving husband and father of 19 years. I can't ever remember having a supportive caring mother, although throughout my life I have either looked the other way and felt helpless inside, or spoke out and then told that I was misbehaving in an over reactive manner. Most recently, my oldest son, who is now 16, had been battling t-cell Leukemia. He was first diagnosed when he was 13, and it was devastating to our otherwise healthy family of five. The very good news is that my son won his battle, and has been in remission since he began his treatment. It was a long hard road, and we were all somewhat traumatized by the ordeal. Our only battle was taking care of our very weak son, (from chemotherapy and radiation treatments), and not caring who could or couldn't lend support. My parents never did help with our other two children, while we spent countless days and nights at the hospital. We did not have the strength at the time to ask for their help, even though we had hoped they would offer. It was easier to ask friends. At one point, my son's blood pressure sank so low he was in the ICU for a week. It was scary to say the least, and I remember my mother wouldn't even call him or us. She was informed by my sister. Weeks later, we received a postcard from her and my father while on their Carribean Cruise. Our son's treatment was long and spanned over three years, so there were several horrible events that occurred throughout this time that only leave us scratching our heads as to, "who are these people???" Last summer, our three children were suppose to visit with my mother and father at their home in Southampton, NY. My mother had called on a Thursday evening and asked me to bring the kids to the ferry boat for the weekend. The kids were excited, as it was the very end of the summer and they wanted to go to the beach. On Friday evening, I received a call; my mother was canceling on the kids. She spoke to my father and he hadn't communicated that he instead wanted his friend to stay for the weekend. Okay, so no big deal, but I had to tell the kids that plans had changed and they couldn't go to their grandparents. The thing is that they hadn't seen the kids in weeks, and they would soon return to their Florida house, where their friend lived too. So they canceled their grand kids out once again. That weekend, I called to ask my mother a question, and heard my nephews voice in the background. My sister's son was spending the weekend with them??? A week later, my brother left a message on my phone. It was very strange, and I didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell me. He was told by my mother that I refused psychiatric help that a friend of hers had offered free to our family (for families dealing with cancer). By all accounts that was just not true. A friend of my mother's had offered psychiatry,... and we called, but could not make a connection. And then this friend left a message that she was sorry for not calling back as her brother-in-law was dying of cancer. We later did take our son to a psychiatrist close to our area. Even if we were able to make a connection it would have been a great deal of traveling. But, we never REFUSED. I asked my mother about her statement, and she actually tried to tell me the same lie. It was so pathetic. She actually told my brother this lie a year prior and I was just learning of it. Why? If I had confronted her with, “ that is a straight out lie”, it would have meant I was calling her a liar, and that would have been disobedient to say the least. As it would have aroused even more trouble. Eight years prior to this... I found out that my mother had said that I stole “seven aspirin” from a never before, opened bottle and placed them in my own luggage while my family and I were staying at their home in Florida for 4 days. I didn't learn of her accusation until a year later. When I did I was furious, and confused. It ignited a letter to my parents in which I asked why they continue to disrespect me. I spoke about several instances that just didn't make any sense. ex. "Last Christmas, I brought my family to visit with you on Christmas Day, when we arrived the kids were ecstatic and we were glad to be together. A half hour after I arrived, you invited your neighbor over, You and the kids had already opened gifts, and you went to get Joan, your neighbor her gift. Oddly enough, it was the gift I gave you, mom, the year before. You waited to re-gift this gift in front of me. Why? Then after seeing me sad, but quiet as usual, you brought me into your bathroom and told me it was only my own fault for being sad or mad, as we just have mother/daughter issues and that is all this was! Again, I ask, how would you like me to react? Does it make you feel better when you hurt me? I went on to discuss 4 more similar issues. I spoke about feeling disrespected. I received a letter back, and my heart again sank! It was filled with when you were a teenager you disrespected us and called your mother names... ok so I could defend everything they rambled on about me being 13-16, and I was a kid who wasn't perfect. But, yes, I was a kid; never did drugs, got good grades, college grad, husband, kids, home...but I'm 30 something now. IF you still need to punish me for my teenage years then when will it stop.
I want to sum this up and bring it to a close, as it has been now 10 months since we last spoke. I found out in September that my parents accused my then 15 year old son of keeping and stealing $4.00 from them. This is the same son who was still on chemotherapy, prednisone and a whole host of other drugs. He was visiting, and was given four dollars to get ice-cream with Joan, the neighbor and her son. Joan paid for the ice-cream and he didn't return their money. They asked Joan if my son bought his ice-cream, and she said no. They were upset, and asked him if he had something he needed to tell them. He said, No, I don't think so??? He probably told them he did, because he's a kid, and he really didn't care. So my father and mother gave him a lecture, then told him to keep this between them. Well, he told me, because he felt like he screwed up. After I learned of this, I told my sister and her husband over dinner. Well, that got back to my parents and they were furious. They haven't called and neither have I. I am tired of dealing with so much garbage. But, I have always just dealt with it for the sake of kids having grandparents. It was never ok the treatment I endured, but I thought they were only capable of treating me this way, never my children. Do I do my best to move on, as I don't want my children to endure the same legacy I have for so many years? My son turned 16, this past March, he has his own cell phone, he finished his cancer treatments in December, and they still haven’t called him. Yet, in February, it was my daughter’s birthday and they called her on her 13th birthday to say they loved her. My parents are a young, 64 and 65. They do not work, and have two homes in Longboat, FL and LI, NY. It is hard for me to try to understand how they can be so mean and cold. I have always dismissed my feelings so that my children could have them for grandparents, but so much happened during my son’s battle with cancer that I find it almost impossible to dismiss it now. During his illness, they refused to go to his eighth grade graduation because they were “mad at me”. My sister conned my mother into going by buying her an outfit for the night. I could go on, they were mad at me because when the kids and I waited 45 minutes at the ferry in the cold rain to be picked up, I called and said, “What is up with you people,” “were in the rain, and you live less than a mile away” The “You People” ensued huge disgust from my mother. We were all at my sister's house, and she was giving birth to her second child, pre-maturely, (3 month's early) She begged me to come with my two younger children so to not cancel her son's bowling party. I said yes, although my son with Leukemia was too ill to travel. I still said yes, even though I was a nervous wreck, as we couldn't risk getting ill either. Do I let it go???