Spanking is bad, period. And although experts have provided ample evidence to backup their claims that spanking is bad, many parents like the ones below still choose to hit their children. How can anyone spank their child with love ? This is totally outrageous. If you love your child, then it must be unconditional -not seasonal. If your child is : throwing a tantrum, screaming in the store, hitting other kids, swearing, throwing things, etc,etc, then it is most probably because of some action or behaviour they copied from you, or wathcing WWF, or in their immediate environment. So if your child has done something wrong, then you cannot hit them, because in most cases, you are to blame. So you are the one who needs the spanking ! And it's not only uneducated parents who spank their children, so-called "college educated" are just as guilty. These dim parents think that because they were spanked as kids, then they should now do the same to their kids ? This should never be the case. Parents today need to understand that in the past, most parents (and society in general) did not possess the understanding and knowledge of child psychology that we have today. So it makes sense that we need to evaluate lessons from the past and look at how we can improve forthe future. I was spanked as a child and it really hurt me inside. Today, I am 40 yrs old and this pain has recently come back to haunt me. I can assure you, its not a good feeling. Many times it brings me to tears when I relive those moments. I feel so helpless. I think about how I used to cower away in my "safespot" after by spankings. It always left me scared and afraid. I have two children today. A girl and a boy, ages 12 and 9 respectively. I have never spanked them or beated them in anyway because I wanted the cycle to stop with me.
My children are simply wonderful and are stars at home and in school. I hope one day they will take some of the positive parenting that I used and combine them with their own values and ideas when they become parents. I believe that every parent should do this - take some of the good (if any) from their parents - and improve on this. In this way, we not only evolve and improve our parenting skills, but we improve as humans. Dale Phillip
Port Elizabeth,
South Africa

As a mother of two with a degree in education, I find that spanking done in a consistent, loving environment produces well-adjusted kids who are free to explore and learn to their heart's content. This mild form of corporal punishment actually restores the relationship between child and parents after the child has been punished because spanking allows the child to truly acknowlege his actions and ask for forgiveness. If the parent is calm and not flying off in anger, the child is presented with the opportunity to deal with the disobedience and go on with all the hugging and kisses and cuddling to show how much love is there. In my experience, the daily hugs and kisses far outnumber the occasionally weekly spankings b/c we are communicating with our kids what they should be doing, not emphasizing what they should not be doing. In our house, we only give spankings for out right disobedience or disrespectfulness. If you can get through the hurdles of the two and three year old assertion of independence and use it for a teaching time of what is expected of their behavior, spankings will just be an occasional tool to teach consequences

I am a mom of five children and we do chose to spank as a last resort for open defiance. I'll be honest, I hate it! I hate having to punish my children when I know they know better. However, I feel if they are choosing to be disobedient then they are choosing the punishment. The "studies" may show that less educated parents spank their children, but do they also show whose children are better behaved?