If your child is not responding in what you would consider "normal", you must investigate the possiblity of homosexuality and Same Sex Attraction. Never go to any counseling without researching the counselor. Most of them will send your child down the wrong road. Do your own research on Same Sex Attraction. Never go to organizations like PFLAG for information as the information they will give you is "your child is "gay" or lesbian and it is something you should cheerfully accept. Parents have a good reason to be concerned about Same Sex Attraction in children. To sugar coat it with "it's ok" or encouraging words from PFLAG does much to support a political agenda and absolutely nothing to support the gender discordant child. Today our children and grandchildren are not receiving accurate information on SSA due to censorship in public libraries, school libraries, and bookstores ( www.endcensorship.com) on the subject. When children with unwanted Same Sex Attraction are referred to well meaning organizations such as PFLAG, GLSEN, and GLADD, a critical step is missed. “Gay” affirming organizations provided these children with only one line of thinking. This in turn removes “choice” from the equation. Our sensitive children and associated families should be offered choices. Not everyone with SSA is "gay". Undeniably, the media has played an important role in this gradual development SSA in our culture, especially among the young. (http://www.cultureandmediainstitute.org/articles/2008/20081008150647.aspx ). The Rand Corporation recently published a study linking teen pregnancies to what children watch on TV. ( http://www.rand.org/health/abstracts/2008/11/chandra.html ). Based upon this insightful research, one can logically conclude when children watch “gay” affirming programming, they will mimic what they see. The American College of Pediatricians has recently provided an informative article about gender discordant children…. http://www.acpeds.org/index.cgi?BISKIT=1182133937&CONTEXT=art&cat=10005&art=167
. If a person chooses to self identify as “gay” or lesbian that is their decision. It is a good idea to respect that decision in mature adults. In children, the decision should be an informed decision. People with Unwanted Same Sex Attraction need to know they have choices. Nobody is "born gay"....this is a scientific fact. As a parent, you must take it upon yourself to understand SSA. The scientific statistics are that 1 in 33 kids will develop SSA (http://www.narth.com/docs/questions.html ), (http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid53742.asp ). PFLAG statistics put the number at 1 in 10 ( http://www.pridesource.com/article.shtml?article=30781). Either way, that's a lot of kids. Nobody can discount the obstacles SSA children will face, so why put them through it. All parents must watch the 15 minute video at www.homosexuality101.com. Two stories worth reading are: Greg Louganis by Richard Cohen of the International Healing Foundation as this story should never ever happen again to a child, anywhere: http://www.charityadvantage.com/International_Healing_FounFDXHCY/images/2007-Fall.pdf. Another story is from AARP about elderly people of the “gay” and lesbian community (http://www.365gay.com/news/elderly-gays-forging-new-alliances/ ). Additional information and resources can be found at the following web sites: www.narth.com , www.homosexuality101.com , www.pathinfo.org , ww.pfox.org , www.jonahweb.org , www.ismychildgay.com , www.gaytostraight.org , www.endcensorhip.com . Please share with others. Use some common sense before you allow your child to travel this long and winding road. Above all else, follow your concious and be a parent. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Jose Schwartz PS: Read this short story:
DON’T BE FOOLED - PLEASE… HEAR WHAT I’M NOT SAYING “Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don’t be fooled. I give the impression that I’m secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and I’m in command and I need no one. But don’t believe it; please don’t. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask. Beneath lies no smugness, no coolness, no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in fear, in loneliness. But I hide this; I don’t want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness being exposed. That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated façade to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation. And I know it. It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare. I’m afraid to. I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by love and acceptance. I’m afraid that you will think less of me, that you’ll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I’m afraid that deep down inside I’m nothing, that I’m just no good, and that you’ll see and reject me. So I play my games, my desperate, pretending games, with a façade of assurance on the outside and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter with you in the suave of surface talk. I tell you everything that’s really nothing, nothing of what’s crying within me. So when I’m going through my routine, don’t be fooled by what I’m saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m NOT saying: what I’d like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but I can’t say. I dislike hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games I’m playing. I’d really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that’s the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breathe life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive, and I AM a child. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man, every woman, every child…. every human you meet.” Anonymous