Don't tell them it's OK to "fool around"!! I think too many parents are really trying to be "cool" and "best friends" with their kids today. I've spoken to my daughter about waiting, here's the example I used: Imagine that your purity/virginity is a beautiful white gift wrapped box with a fancy shimmery bow. This is to give to your spouse on your wedding night. Now, if you choose to give that gift to someone before you get married, maybe they unwrap it a little, then you try to fix it, but it just doesn't look quite right, then the next person, drops it in the dirt and you try to clean it up but it is too dirty to clean up, then the next person....so on and so on. My point is by the time you reach your wedding night you don't have a beautiful present, you have one that has been dropped, dented, unwrapped, rewrapped. Would you like to give this to your spouse on the most special night of your life? My daughter thought that was an excellent analogy. She's 12.