Spanking: either you’re for it or against it. There is no middle ground. Unfortunately, the passionate way in which spanking as a form of discipline is discussed leaves no room for discipline that responds to the child and his or her actions. Responsive discipline, as I call it is an holistic disciplinary approach that considers the child as a person with strengths and weaknesses then invokes consequences that fits the action. It is incorporates a variety of measures into a disciplinary portfolio that defines when spanking is warranted and when it is not. In order for spanking to be most effective, it should be invoked as the final form of discipline and invoked infrequently enough that over time, the threat of receiving the punishment is sufficient to stimulate positive behavior.
Selecting the best form of discipline for an individual child will develop the platform for him or her to define an internal sense of right and wrong that will govern behavior as the child grows into adulthood. Every child does not need to be spanked to bring about contrition. When implemented responsively, spanking can be an effective discipline tool to help certain children develop self governance.
The goal for any form of discipline should be to change inappropriate behaviors into socially acceptable ones. To ensure effectiveness, spanking must be directly associated with the inappropriate behaviors that need to be changed. Responsive discipline facilitates follow up to the spanking that links the behaviors that provoked the spanking to the discipline. Without that association, spanking becomes a random act of authority that has little impact on changing behavior.
Whether one chooses to spank or not spank is far less important than disciplining children in ways that promote positive self governing behaviors.
Spanking, for our family, is a last resort. We typically follow the 1-2-3 Magic approach and primarily use timeouts or the loss of toys/valued objects as punishment. I find this is actually more effective than spanking most of the time. There is an excellent debate about whether to spank or not at www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discip.... Experts from both sides debate the issue and provide counterarguments as well. There are some really good points from both sides...definitely worth a look!
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Selecting the best form of discipline for an individual child will develop the platform for him or her to define an internal sense of right and wrong that will govern behavior as the child grows into adulthood. Every child does not need to be spanked to bring about contrition. When implemented responsively, spanking can be an effective discipline tool to help certain children develop self governance.
The goal for any form of discipline should be to change inappropriate behaviors into socially acceptable ones. To ensure effectiveness, spanking must be directly associated with the inappropriate behaviors that need to be changed. Responsive discipline facilitates follow up to the spanking that links the behaviors that provoked the spanking to the discipline. Without that association, spanking becomes a random act of authority that has little impact on changing behavior.
Whether one chooses to spank or not spank is far less important than disciplining children in ways that promote positive self governing behaviors.