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To Spank or Not to Spank?

Spanking is a controversial issue. Read the pros and cons of spanking.
to spank
you need to spank your kids when they do something bad then they will learn and respect you and not do it agian thats how i learn and do to mine.
Spanking
I am curious to what the correct behavior modification strategy is for a child who goes into screaming fits, throws toys at you, chairs, books punches walls and doors. I don't like the spanking option but I have tried time out, walking away and other strategies and it goes on forever it seems more violent each time. Child is 4, has routine, structure, rewards consequences. So someone please tell me what is my next step. Sometimes I think the way my parents punished me may be what I need to do but I swore I would find a better way.
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Re: To Spank or Not to Spank?
I googled "spanking your toddler", because I felt horrible about spanking my two and half year old son... My husband and I have been struggling with him for months to stay in bed and go to bed. It lasts sometimes for hours, and we have tried EVERYTHING anyone has told us to try... Tonight I tried the whole bath routine and put him to bed and he would jump right out and laugh, and just pushes every button he can.. So I spanked him and guess what he is in bed and DID not get out! When I went to the mall today, he was so bad, he did not listen, and I know he is 2 years old, but I kept thinking, is this the way my son is going to be, is he going to treat me like this his whole life, tell me No, laugh at me, not take me seriously. That is not how I want my son to grow up. Do I want to spank him, NO WAY, it makes me feel horrible, but then again do I want a son who doesn't respect me. Reading the comments about the way kids are today I agree, I don't think there is enough Discipline, my son was hitting me and others before he was ever spanked.
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to silvermist
Perhaps (and most importantly) shield them from their guardian's raised hands as well.
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Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-beating can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. Some quick research on the subject would yield ample testimonies, documentation, etc. A handful of those who are trying to raise awareness about why child buttock-battering isn't healthy for them: American Academy of Pediatrics American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Center For Effective Discipline Churches' Network For Non-Violence (CNNV) PsycHealth Behavioral Health Professionals Archbishop Desmond Tutu Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children Countries where child buttock-battering is illegal: Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Chile, Spain, Costa Rica, Republic of Moldova, and more in process. The US is the only UN member who did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
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Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because many (not all) people are trying to do just that.
There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
22 people found this comment helpful
To Spank!
While I live in a state that does not allow spanking, even parents are not allowed to do so. I am a teacher and I am licensed in several states both where it is allowed and where it is not. I believe that this should be an option where other means have not worked. i remember, I was paddled once when I was a ninth grader. A case of mistaken identity, I only had three swats before they realized they wanted the other boy that had the same name. I knew I never wanted to run afoul of the rules. Not ever.
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Still Rehashing This Issue
I find it rather amusing that we are still going around in circles about the issue of whether to spank or not to spank.
And in regards to the comment about "kids these days" - sorry, but it's right on target. I hear it all the time.
Children today have no respect for their parents. Children don't need us to be their friends, they need us to give them Boundaries, a safe place to live, responsibility, chores, and most importantly LOVE. Children MUST know they are LOVED - even if they do something wrong.
What I see in my own neighborhood are "Tweens" with nothing to do. I never had that option when I was growing up. I had an endless list of chores to do and only on Saturday did I have the option of going out with a friend. And forget about "driving" to school - that, again, was not an option.
I also see a total lack of respect for authority; vulgar language, and apathy for everything.
No one expects us as parents to be perfect and unless you are willing to sign up for all the parenting classes that your children come with . . . when something really bad does happen (and bad things do happen occasionally) who are you going to blame? Society? Your job? Your co-workers? Your spouse? Who's going to pick up the pieces? To Spank or not to spank - it begins with giving children Boundaries - and then following through. English Lesson: There: A place. We are going over there.
Their: Shows possession: This is their house.
They're: Contraction. They are going home. Sorry - I suffer from Perfectionism. Results of being expected to be perfect when I was younger.
34 people found this comment helpful
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE
If there are so many reasons why child buttock-battering isn't healthy for kids (as has been discussed at length in the "Why Spanking is a Bad Idea" thread ), and so many benefits to taking the time and making the effort to learn how to DISCIPLINE instead, why would anyone still want to continue this habit? To those who still do choose to employ child buttock-battering in their family life, will you provide a video or picture of the "right way to do it"? Thanks.
32 people found this comment helpful
"Kids Today" excuse as old as written language
Its very tempting to justify the continuation of something our conscience VERY CLEARLY indicates is wrong by scapegoating "kids today". This tendency goes back almost as far as written language itself (as we have inscriptions to this effect on tablets). Are the social maladies of the day really worse than, say, burning witches at the stake, slavery, oppression of women, "colored" and "white" sections of restaurants, bathrooms, drinking fountains, etc....?
32 people found this comment helpful