Comments on:Pros and Cons of HomeschoolingAdvice from a homeschooling expert on the pros and cons of homeschooling.
October 28, 2008 4:59 PM Moreover...
I'd like to add that the same girl (who is 24 years old now) still lives at home with her parents, has never had a boyfriend in her life, does not go out to see people if it is after 8 pm (she has a strict 10 pm deadline), and is planning on going trick or treating for Halloween (no, not taking a child, just herself and her 30 year old cousin). She also refuses to watch movies without happy endings, which generally restricts her to animated films and Jane Austen films. She holds very dearly to her childhood and enjoys being babied by her parents. If that's not socially awkward and immature at the age of 24, I'm not sure what is. It might have helped if she had siblings.
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October 28, 2008 4:51 PM More cons than that!
Knowing a few of my college peers who were homeschooled themselves, I can say the following about some things that were lacking in their social development compared to kids who went to schools. Although there are negative pressures that teens face in high school these days, it is a good experience (especially at that age) for teens to learn how to deal effectively with social problems themselves. I've noticed that my homeschool friends have huge issues in college when dealing with problems that come up with their peers. The smallest disturbance can greatly affect their emotional well-being, and they eventually go cry about it to their parents. Moreover, they are sometimes very self-centered (not purposely, but just the way they've been brought up) since they always consider only their own comfort or the comfort of their family members. They sometimes lack social knowledge of basic politeness; for instance, when one friend invited me to a party (quite far from where I live), she refused to offer me a ride even though she herself would be driving to this party (this girl is now 24 years old). When I tried to explain to her how this was impolite, she became extremely defensive and came back and lashed out at me. In previous situations as well, I have noticed that she takes criticism from others outside her family very badly. Her reaction to criticism is to hide behind irrelevant excuses and/or lash out at the other person. Moreover, she will only do things for her friends when it is convenient for her. She does not understand the concept of consideration for others outside her family and going the extra mile for a good friend. I feel as if all of the things I described above were issues I had learned through social training in school with my peers.
It could be easy to blame the parents for not "properly" homeschooling their child and teaching their child basic politesse and the ability to handle criticism, but the point is that in homeschooling an only child, the child had a very narrow view of how the world works (based primarily on his or her parent's influence). Parents are not always 100% right. At some point, children need to be able to question ideas on their own, whether it be their peers' ideas or their parents.
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