“U sure?”

My phone vibrated while I listened to a panelist talk about youth violence and policy with a group of political progressives. I looked at the phone. It was one of the boys. I texted. “In meeting. Can’t answer. If you want community service hours go to church at 8-9 pm and sit in youth group meeting. I will not be there. I will be late. But my husband is expecting you all.” He wrote, “Wat happen.” “Do you want to do some community service,” I asked. “Yeah,” he said. “Alright, go to the church at 8. I will be late. But my husband--” “Food there?” he asked “No…LOL.” “Ight,” he said. Almost an hour later he texted, “R u gunna be there to write up the letter 2 day?” I had promised to write a letter for his probation officer. “Why? You need it tomorrow? Can I write it tomorrow?” I asked. “Well r u gunna be there?” “Hopefully by 8:30,” I said. “U sure?” he asked With my head looking into my lap, swallowed up in the texting conversation, I was taken aback. He asked me if I was sure. That terse question innocently suggested I wasn’t telling the truth. I realized that I have been disappointing a lot of people around me – my husband, my daughter, my son, the youth at church, my pastor, my publisher, and my friends. Even God. Yet I had been sure that I would never disappoint the boys. “Yes,” I responded. And then to confirm the uncertainty behind his question, I didn’t make it to the church on time nor did I write the letter. I am beginning to ask myself these days, “U sure?”